A New Adventure.

The last three months have been bizarre. As someone who lets friends, colleagues + complete strangers into her life, via this small space on the 'net, I needed to deal with major life adjustments - without an audience [online + in person]. Its been interesting [to say the least], but I honestly wouldn't want it any other way.

For now, I'm not going to be running any weekly features on the blog. Need to get my feet wet; write what I want + when I want - on my schedule; my terms. I have been finding myself [again], which has been a rewarding experience that I am beyond grateful for.

I'm not entirely sure where this adventure is leading me, but so far, the ride has been pretty sweet.

Chemical Imbalance.

I haven't been posting as frequently as I used to. I attempted to remedy that, but I just wasn't into it. I've been feeling a bit off lately + I know it has to do with the medicine I have been prescribed. No, I didn't catch anything creepy or have something insanely wrong with me. I can't remember if I mentioned it on here, but a few months back, I was having panic attacks up to three times a day. It was a culmination of many things + was frustrating. So, although I didn't want to do it, I went on medication.

Now, I am the girl who lives through headaches + only takes Advil gel caps when I get some serious dental work done. The only time I would take Valium was to get on a plane, which was rare + hasn't happened in years. In order to "make it stop," I went on Zoloft. I got nauseous, felt like crap + couldn't function for a week. After awhile, the side effects subsided + my panic attacks stopped.

About a month ago, I got a sinus infection. I was holed up in bed, feeling like crap, taking over the counter stuff I haven't touched in years. While I was sick, I totally forgot about taking my Zoloft. After my sinuses cleared up, I was still feeling gross. Bad headaches, pressure, nausea, blurry vision, etc. Then, I went to crack my neck, like I always do. It felt like a jolt of electricity had gone from my brain down my spine. Needless to say, I freaked out. Long story short, I was having withdrawals from not taking the Zoloft.

Wonderful.

So, back on it I went. Nausea lasted another week. Started feeling normal, but still in a strange fog. My sleep schedule was thrown off, but eventually I got it regulated. Of course, the night that I actually fell asleep at a normal time is the night I missed a dose. I know, I know, I know - baaaaaaad move. But of course, I didn't think missing one day would throw me off.

Boy, was I wrong. I had insane withdrawal symptoms again, which is totally disturbing. I feel like a drug addict, like I can't survive without this stupid blue little pill. I'm caught between a rock + a hard place: take the medicine + don't have panic attacks, or get off the medicine, withdraw like a monster + suffer consequences, plus have my panic attacks back?

In a way, I feel defeated. Like I lost to the medicine. Sure, I'm happier, but there is a price to pay for this, of course. I can tell I think differently, which is good + bad. I feel that I am still creative, but my drive has diminished. Its as if I sold my soul for sanity.

Welcome to the wonderful world of chemical imbalance.

Cara Box Goes Club Sexy?

The theme of February's Cara Box was Club Sexy. Uhhhhh, I know, it sounds weird, but I swear, it was really rad! Basically, Kaitlyn says Club Sexy is basically your ultimate date night - with your significant other, your friends, kids, or pets. Everyone's ideal date is different + Erich + I prefer to relax with a snack + a flick. This month, I sent a Cara Box to Jessica + received my Cara Box from Charity.

Charity, like myself, is a nerd girl, so this was a match made in heaven! I was super stoked to see what goodies she put together for a perfect date night. The first thing I noticed was this little mailbox, which reminded me of one of my favorite movies, You've Got Mail. Inside, was a note, folded up how I used to pass off notes between classes in high school. There was also another piece of paper, which had a note, saying "read this to each other." I opened it up, read it to myself + cracked up. All of my Cara Boxes have had something Star Wars in it, which is awesome!

 I walked over to Erich + showed him the note on the outside. He was nervous at first, but I read it to him + he thought it was pretty cool. As I unwrapped my gifts, I was super stoked to see that Charity picked stuff that was so US. My favorite was the mini Darth Vader candy jar. Erich was actually pretty excited about this Cara Box, because it had stuff for the both of us. It was awesome getting to know Charity + I can't wait to see who I'm paired up with this month!

Iron Craft '13, Challenge #4: "… and the Winner is…"

This challenge was inspired by television or film [or the red carpet], due to the award season that has sprung up. I don't watch them, but if there is a clip of something awesome [usually a performance], i'll YouTube it later on. Since Sarina is the craftier of the two of us, she decided that making headbands with some awesome fabric she had would be perfect. She snagged some Star Wars, Star Trek + Marvel Comics prints a few weeks ago, so that is what we used. This is also the first time I used a sewing machine to sew fabric - the only other time I used it was to make paper streamers for Halloween.

Believe it or not, this was not as hard as I imagined it to be, although the bobbin decided to go apeshit on me at one point [I swear, it wasn't my fault]. I definitely feel more comfortable sewing + would love to create some cute pouches + headbands with the awesome fabric I picked up a couple months ago.

For our crafting adventure, I wore my old school E.T. shirt + donned my Black Milk The Last Judgment leggings, which is actually taken from a piece created by Jan van Eyck, created back in the 1400s. Pretty cool, huh?

I looked at Challenge #5 + its Green or "Green," which means we can use the color green, or create something that is earth-friendly. I'm thinking earth-friendly would be more up my alley, but who knows what I'll come up with!