Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Sunday, April 12, 2015


I wrote this piece back on February 23. It saved this as a draft, because I wanted to revisit it at a later date. My headspace was swimming with so much at that point in time. While contemplating my future, I decided a change of scenery was needed + planned an impromptu trip to California. Things have been non-stop since returning home + I only got a chance to look again today. At first, I was tempted to edit, but decided to leave it alone. It needs to be seen how it swirled through my mind - slightly choppy, a little repetitive, but real. 

Life can be weird + strange. People can walk into your life one day + flip things upside down, which can be a good thing. Might be a bad thing. But its something. Its living.

A few years ago, someone very dear to my heart was gone in an instant. That moment was one of the biggest wake up calls of my life. That was the day I decided to start being more mindful + living the life I deserved.

Sometimes you just need to take a leap of faith. Trust your gut. Fuck the "what ifs" - stare them right in the face + see whats there. If its not what you expected or what you want, at least you took the risk. Plus, its quite the adrenaline rush. It can be really scary, I know. But we are so much stronger than we realize.

I'm a firm believer in the fact that things unfold how they're supposed to. You can try + fool the universe, but in the end, what is supposed to happen will happen. We don't know what tomorrow has in store. If we will even see tomorrow. So get out there + experience life. I swear, its worth it.

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Couchsurfing Practice.

Sounds coming from the garish infomercial are what startled my slumber. I didn't want to hear about empty promises from paid actors, but I was too tired to find the remote + change the channel. It took me a good minute to realize I had fallen asleep on the couch for the second time this week + its only Wednesday.

The couch is my sanctuary when sick, or where I bundle up in blankets on cold days off to be a useless human + binge on movies. Over the course of the last few months, I find myself waking up in the middle of the night [sometimes in a cold sweat], slumped over uncomfortable pillows, usually with my socks tossed onto the living room table. Most of the time I don't even bother trudging up the stairs to my bedroom - I simply readjust the pillows, cocoon myself in the blanket + turn onto my other side.

While snagging coffee with a friend last week, I mentioned how I had been gravitating toward the couch out of nowhere. Since taking a handful of psychology courses, he likes to play therapist, telling me that its either because I don't like sleeping alone in my bed anymore, or I am mentally preparing to move + crash on couches while I find a place to live. Although his response was half-joking, I have toyed around the idea of selling most of my belongings, packing up my car + moving westward. I've always wanted to be able to pick up + go, but the annoying urge to be responsible + play it safe usually wins.

Until now..

I think I need a new adventure.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

coffee + cigarettes.

sitting on my deck, half asleep with a cup of black coffee + a cigarette in hand.

this is when i miss you the most.

memories of chilly autumn afternoons when we would sleep in + only attempt to emerge from the covers after a successful romp in the sack.

you'd walk into the kitchen + make me coffee - breakfast if we were feeling adventurous.

i'd sleepily stand there, thinking about how lucky we both were to have something so simple to smile about.

you'd hand my mug off to me as you made your own + i'd struggle to open the sliding glass door with full hands.

i would sit on the bench + light my cigarette, alternating between drags + cautious sips as to not burn my tongue, while my mind wandered to wonderland.

the sound of the sliding glass door jolted me back to reality, which was far more satisfying than the daydreams that swirled through my mind.

Monday, June 10, 2013

A New Adventure.

The last three months have been bizarre. As someone who lets friends, colleagues + complete strangers into her life, via this small space on the 'net, I needed to deal with major life adjustments - without an audience [online + in person]. Its been interesting [to say the least], but I honestly wouldn't want it any other way.

For now, I'm not going to be running any weekly features on the blog. Need to get my feet wet; write what I want + when I want - on my schedule; my terms. I have been finding myself [again], which has been a rewarding experience that I am beyond grateful for.

I'm not entirely sure where this adventure is leading me, but so far, the ride has been pretty sweet.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Life As of Late.

Life has been crazy, but in the best way possible. I have been relaxing, crafting, working, finding Nemo in my backyard + found a sinus infection that I was eager to get rid of. But, the positives have kicked the negatives in the butt, which rules. I figured I'd post some pictures of what has been going on lately!

I've been disgustingly creative lately - even moreso than normal. I have always told everyone that I could only draw stick figures, which is true. But, when some of the little ladies I watch wanted me to create fun things for them, I decided to actually sit down + give it a shot. I sketched first, had a picture nearby for a general reference + gave it my best shot. I impressed myself! The boys created butterfly valentine cards for their younger cousins + last night was an experiment with ice cream sandwiches filled with vanilla ice cream + chocolate pudding. 

 On Friday night, I was supposed to go see Lady Gaga at Madison Square Garden, but due to the announcement last week that her entire tour was cancelled, I didn't go. Since I won a contest two years ago, which included tickets, a hotel + car service to the show, I was told that I needed to take the hotel + the car service, because that was the agreement I had signed two summers ago. I was pretty pissed, until a friend suggested I come into Brooklyn for dinner.  I convinced them to pick up another friend en route + take us into Brooklyn, to feast at TRAIF.

I can honestly say it was one of the best meals I have ever enjoyed. This place is not vegetarian friendly, but its a bacon lover's BFF. We enjoyed twelve small dishes between the five of us. Their site has a menu from last Spring available here, but many of the items we feasted on are staples of TRAIF. My favorite dishes were the bacon wrapped bleu cheese stuffed dates + strawberry cinnamon glazed baby back ribs, but it was all amazingly delicious.

 Dessert was also stellar. Nutella mousse with pistachio ice cream, panna cotta drizzled with fruit + the best dessert ever - bacon doughnuts with dulce de leche + coffee ice cream. I am still drooling over those bad boys. Amazing, amazing, amazing. To help us gluttons digest, we were brought a plate with pineapple, which hit the spot. I can't wait to go back again; I'm really hoping this can become a monthly venture.

 Now that I'm done talking about stuffing my face, I am pretty stoked about this month's Whimseybox. All the supplies can help you create a few memo boards/notepads, with tons leftover. I'm pretty stoked about the fun washi tape, neon rubber bands + those ultra cute pins! Whimseybox is only $15 a month [cheaper + cooler than most subscription boxes] + when you use the link above, your first box is only $10. Trust me, if you've ever gone into a store to buy crafts, its a miracle if your bill is under $25.

If you haven't noticed yet, the blog was revamped by the super talented Justine, who blogs over at Pirates and Mermaids. She is a fellow Long Islander, so who better to create something for my space? Both she + her boyfriend, Steve, are insanely creative [he's actually done one of my tattoos for me + I plan on going back for more] + they have the cutest little dude, Benjamin. Make sure to swing by + say hi!

That's all for now. Hopefully with my schedule starting to become more consistent, my posts will be more as well. Enjoy your day!

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Lets Be Friends!

My friend, Sally, decided to start a really cool link-up, called Lets Be Friends. I think its a great way to learn more about other bloggers + make some new friends along the way. This is the first week, so its an introduction of sorts, which is great, seeing as I have a bunch of new followers who probably want to know a bit about the girl behind the blog.

I just turned thirty at the end of last year. So far, so good. I don't look my age + I'm often mistaken for a teenager, which is fine by me - it means that I'm aging well! ;)

Long Island, New York. I was born here, but moved to Florida once I was in elementary school. After high school, I moved back for good. There is so much rich history here + so much to do. Plus, there's nothing like a summer drive on the island.

Fun Fact
During Summer 2007, I spent a month studying abroad in Italy! When I wasn't in class or relying on gelato as sustenance [rice gelato = best dessert ever], I was busy exploring + having a blast! We stayed in Rome for most of the trip, but adventured to Assissi, Capri, Florence, Tivoli + Venice.

Sunday, January 6, 2013


I haven't done a currently post in awhile, so I figured go a little picture crazy for this one!

 Loving: my fun new Shwings! They're fun wings to accessorize your sneakers for some extra oomph. While I usually prefer to get my wings from a can of Red Bull, these pink sparkly beasts definitely dressed up my Nike Dunk Sky Highs rather nicely! I can't wait to test them out on my Neon Yellow Litas!

Making me smile:  The awesome Lionel Richie Valentine's day coloring sheet I found! While bebesitting for my two of my favorite littles, I was looking for a holiday themed craft. I couldn't find the craft bin, so I decided to print out some fun coloring pages. I don't remember what I searched for, but when I saw this, I gasped + one of the cutest two-year-olds on the planet toddled over + asked what I was doing. I showed him, but he didn't understand it. I already gave it to Erich, because its amazing. You can find this gem over at Creative-Type Dad, because this dude seems to love Lionel just as much as I do [there are pages of Lionel goodness].

Patiently waiting for: the Wildfox SS '13 lineup, which is based on Clueless, which is one of my favorite movies ever. The collection launches sometime this month + I've been obsessively checking the site to see if its up yet. 

Reading: Ira Levin's Rosemary's Baby. I snagged a first edition hardcover, because I really dig finding the original books, because I feel that is truly the author's creation. Levin captured my attention when I read The Stepford Wives years ago + this has been on my reading list for years now. Better late than never, right?

Rockin' out to: Rooney's self-titled album. I have been in a hard-core nostalgia music mode as of late, so I revisited one of my favorite albums from ten years ago. Somewhere in my old room I have the old demos burned on a CD, along with a few of the old EPs. 

Thinking about: what the next Iron Craft challenge will be. Week 1 was cotton, so Sarina + I used cotton totes I had lying around + made some fun stencils with freezer paper [Sarina created a freezer paper stencil tutorial, so make sure to check it out].

Watching: H2, which is essentially what the History Channel used to air - actual shows about history [instead of stupid reality shows that make me want to cry]. I pray that they don't pull an MTV2 + decide to switch from awesome programming to more heinous reality shows. 

A big thank you to Danielle from Sometimes Sweet for passing on the idea for these fun "Currently" posts!

Thursday, January 3, 2013

So This Is The New Year...

... and I don't feel any different. - Death Cab for Cutie, New Year

For the last ten New Years, I have always played this song a few times the first week in January - its like New Year holiday music, if you will. I love older DCFC + Transatlanticism is my favorite album (you can snag a copy for under ten bucks from Amazon), so its often in rotation throughout the year as well. The opening lyrics stand true, though. I don't feel any different because the year has changed. If anything, I'm stuck in the previous year - it takes me a week or two to get into the habit of writing the new date on documents - I can't tell you how many times I would sign off on things at the beginning of 2012 + date them 2011 - I wouldn't realize it until someone pointed it out, either.

Same thing goes for birthdays. I never feel any different + it usually takes me a few months to start saying the correct age when people ask me how old I am. Since I recently turned thirty, this one was easier for me to remember, but I can't tell you how many times I would tell people I was 27 or 28, when I was actually 29. If I didn't realize what I said right away, Erich would joke that I was lying about my age.

I didn't make any resolutions (they're doomed from the start), but I did decide that over the course of the winter, I would attempt to drink less coffee, eat healthier, craft more + dress up more. So far, I have only been drinking tea, I have been eating healthier than normal (less candy now that my Haribo advent calendar has been demolished, but I just ate a slice of pizza that was leftover from dinner last night), I went to Sarina's last night to work on fun crafty stuff + I am attempting to break free of my usual winter attire - sweatpants, sweatshirt, Uggs + no makeup. As you can tell, its baby steps, but its better than nothing.

Monday, December 31, 2012

Peace Out, 2012!

I have had mixed emotions regarding 2012. While a lot of pretty crappy things occurred [losing my job, death of my cousin, death of my aunt, flooded apartment, etc.], a lot of awesome things happened as well. I started this blog, made awesome new blog + pen pals, ran my first 5K, turned thirty, finished grad school + became a bit craftier. There is much more to be thankful for that I am forgetting, but if you stop by often + check out my Instagram, you know there has been lots for me to be thankful for this year, even through the hard times.

 I'm not making any resolutions, but I plan on doing things throughout the year that will help make all areas of my life a bit sweeter. Thank you all for coming on this crazy journey with me! Here is to a happy + healthy 2013 for everyone on the planet.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Newtown, Connecticut.

I'm not a religious person, but I have been praying for the people of Newtown, Connecticut. What happened on the morning of December 14 is a nightmare that this close-knit community cannot escape. Members of the community, of all ages, died senselessly at the hands of twenty-year-old Adam Lanza. As we noticed from the numerous reports that were casted today, there has been a great deal of misinformation [they claimed Ryan Lanza had committed the crime, that both Lanza parents were murdered, + that his mother was the teacher at Sandy Hook Elementary, to name a few major pieces of information given out by the media]. 

You know what, though? All of that information is not necessary for us to know. The people of Newtown should be given privacy to grieve + gather their thoughts - THAT is necessary. While I appreciate the Connecticut State police giving numerous press conferences throughout the day to update folks around the world + beyond, they shouldn't have had to answer dozens of questions from reporters [many of which were intrusive + inappropriate]. The government officials, law enforcement agencies + the medical community need to make sure everyone in their town is being taken care of. The families who lost loved ones, the students who were at the school + their families, plus the rest of the community who treasures this town + the residents - their well-being is top priority. 

Regarding the media, I am appalled by many reporters, news stations, + executives at major stations that are going onto social media sites such as Twitter, searching through hashtags related to the incident + are asking if they could be put in touch with the person they know that has a child or relative that attends Sandy Hook Elementary, works at the school, or knows the Lanza family personally. This is disgusting + deplorable. I understand your job is to break the story first, but most stations reported false information without fact-checking, which is irresponsible + lacks integrity. 

I posted this on Facebook earlier today, but I wanted to share it with all of you, as this should be for all to see:

We can be angry, yes. But do not hold on to that emotion - acknowledge it + let it pass. Anger can eat you up inside + change who you are. Just let it go + seek out happiness. Bring love into this crazy world - lord knows we need it.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Dancing Elves, Spray Tan Overload + Plastic Ponies.

I am a rare breed, to say the least. If you were unaware of this, by the end of this post you will understand the severe level of strange that I exude. Here are a few things that I've conjured up in my dome, +/or saw on the 'net + found intriguing.

Erich makes this insanely creepy face that makes me laugh hysterically, even when I'm in a horrible mood. I decided to put these pictures to good use, with Elf Yourself. I also added Penny + Puar, for good measure. I didn't send out Christmas cards this year, so consider this your card for the season. We went green + creepy this year. I can't decide which one I like more, the hip hop or soul version.

I'm telling you, this is the best way to waste time +  procrastinate from completing schoolwork or anything else that you should be working on.

Tonight, as I was watching Friends [The One With Ross's Tan] while working on blog things, I had an epiphany of sorts. Ross was totally rockin' the laughable Pauly D. Jersey Shore hair + skin spectacular six years before the Italian Stallion was gracing the world with his, uhhh, talents. Behold!

The last few days, Erich has been seriously sick. Luckily, he has been on the road to recovery, but has been pretty weak + tired. The other night, when I went to the pharmacy to pick up his medicine, I wanted to snag him a few things to cheer him up. I grabbed a car magazine, a Yoda Christmas ornament [that is apparently broken + needs to be returned now], a Christmas cup + a My Little Pony. Now, why would I buy my twenty-something boyfriend a small plastic pony? Well, awhile back, we discovered that dudes who dig the Ponies call themselves Bronies. I think its awesome - as a child, I had a plethora of MLP's, plus watched the show religiously. Erich is not a brony, but I knew getting him this little plastic beast would make him laugh. When I got home, I had him take each item out of the bag, one by one. When he opened eyes and saw what I got him, he laughed for the first time in days. 

I tossed it in my bag this morning, because Penelope was trying to attack it [she thought it was a new toy for her]. When I went out to dinner tonight with a friend, I pulled it out of my bag + put it on the table, as she was talking. I made another person laugh, thanks to this little plastic pony. I think its safe to say this purchase was a success!

Hopefully some of this made you laugh, too. Enjoy your Friday, the weekend is upon us! :)

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Wacky Wednesday.

This morning was bizarre. Usually the cats will come + wake us up in the morning for two things: Penelope will meow this long, monotone meow, which means "Mommy, lift up the covers so I can snuggle with you [she's a major mushball]," or Puar will come over + gently touch my face with her paw [repeatedly] until I get up to give her wet food. Nothing I mind being woken up for, because it only takes me about twenty minutes to doze off again.

Penelope resting her head on Puar. So precious.

This morning, I was woken up by a commotion like no other. I figured they were just playing with each other, so I didn't think anything of it. Until I heard a chair fall over. I got up to see what was going on + nearly shit my pants once I realized why they were going bonkers.

They were trying to catch a bird.

Yes, you read that right, there was a bird in our quarters. Our apartment is a renovated garage + we usually leave the front door open, because there is a mudroom with a glass door that the girls like looking out. There's a small gap between the concrete + the door, which we planned on finishing before Sandy rolled through, but since we had flooding, we need to wait for FEMA + an engineer to come to the house before we do any repairs, as there are cracks in the foundation.

I screamed like a little bitch, which made Erich scream, as I just scared the living shit out of him. I manage to shout "BIRD! THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL THE BIRD!" He jumps out of bed + tries to grab one of the cats. The little bird starts flying around to escape their wrath + the girls are moving at warp speed in order to catch their prey. I'm ready to pee my pants at this point, because I'm half asleep, heart beating a million miles an hour + we can't catch the cats. We finally grab them + put them into the mudroom, but Penny runs back in to try + get the bird. Erich grabs her + tosses her in the mudroom [gently, of course - he had to be fast to make sure Puar didn't run back in + Penny didn't either].

I carry them from the mudroom to the house [where Erich's parents live], while Erich attempts to get the bird to safety. After about ten minutes, he comes in + tells me the bird is out. He's cranky, because we were up late doing schoolwork + he had to wake up to me screaming, then get a bird out of the apartment. We go back inside + get back into bed. I'm still so thrown off about it that I didn't even ask him how he got the bird out [I keep forgetting to ask him - once he gets back from Dunkin' Donuts, i'm going to have to inquire how he finally got it out].

Craziest. Morning. Ever.

UPDATE: I finally asked Erich how the bird escaped. He said he opened all of the doors, plus opened the window + popped the screen out. The bird went by the window + after bumping into the glass, found his way out + flew far away from the crazy kitties.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Getting in the Holiday Spirit.

I love everything about the holiday season. The chill in the air, drinking hot chocolate to warm up, the music + the decorations. One of my favorite things to do with Erich is grab hot chocolates + drive around the neighborhoods with the best Christmas light setups. There is even a house that has their lights synced to a radio station you can listen to in your car - its crazy awesome! I'm also a big fan of attending the Girl Scouts of Suffolk County Holiday Light Show, but Erich groans when I mention it  [he works at a coffee shop that most light show guests stop at, so from Thanksgiving until the end of December, he is a total crankypants when he comes home from a weekend closing shift].

A photo from last year's Holiday Light Show.

Luckily, we have a few days between the end of the semester + Christmas to go exploring, so our days will be spent watching holiday flicks, getting last minute gifts + being in the holiday spirit. It always makes me so sad once Christmas is over - the decorations come down, the music is "back to normal" on the radio + life loses that bit of magic that only the holiday season provides. I guess that is what keeps the holiday season so special - if we were immersed year-round, we might not be able to truly appreciate it.

What are some of your favorite things about the holiday season?

Sunday, November 25, 2012


Double Tall Salted Carmel Mocha in my Rodarte x Starbucks mug, yum!

Making me happy: Simple, little things. Deliciously sinful drinks, made to perfection by my barista boyfriend. Spending time with my family + friends. Writing thank you notes [which I keep forgetting to mail].

Loving: Hello Apparel + Hi for Kids, created by Sam + Anita Means. I ordered the Hello sweatshirt in red - when Erich' calls me, a picture of him with his feet up in a jacuzzi bathtub pops up + Lionel Richie's Hello blares from my phone. I laugh every single time. Also: Baudelaire 2 in 1 Oil Absorbing Primer + Mask = my new BFF. All natural + also helps dry up unwanted blemishes in record time [in a matter of hours, its crazy].

Listening: Now, Now - Threads. I discovered them while perusing the Hello Merch store last week. Not only does their music rule, but I LOVE the Meow, Meow sweatshirt.

Reading: Daily Decadence. Filled with stories, recipes + wine pairings, Sherri Dobay gives readers an intimate look into her journal + her kitchen. I can't wait to test out some of the recipes I've read [especially the one that urges readers to pour a glass of champagne before cooking, ha].

Watching: R. Kelly's Trapped In The Closet. Believe it or not, I've never watched these in their entirety, or in consecutive order, for that matter. IFC has them all posted [digitally remastered], so I have been watching a few at a time.

Thinking about: The holidays, graduating + applying for more teaching positions. I can't believe its almost December.

Looking forward to: Making a ginormous announcement on the blog on Monday. I can't tell you much, but I can tell you that its gonna be awesome.

Thursday, November 15, 2012


As of Sunday, I officially became a thirtysomething.

Typing that is so strange. I don't look thirty, nor do I act my age. But, according to my parental units, I came into this world with a wild head of hair at 9:13a on the eleventh of November. I wanted to do something fantastic, seeing as this was the big 3-0 [one of the few birth milestones is worth celebrating, until Medicare kicks in, ha]. Unfortunately, with gas rationing going on, not to mention playing catch-up from the storm, a lot of my friends were unable to attend. So, I decided on something lighthearted + fun: bowling!

Now, I am probably the worst bowler to walk the planet [I took a bowling class in college + barely improved], but who said you had to be an expert to enjoy yourself? A dozen of my friends joined me to help "bowl my way into my thirties." I actually waiting for the ball to return when it turned midnight + they announced the birthdays on the loudspeaker, so I really did bowl out of my twenties into my thirties, which was fun. We headed out a little after midnight - my friend Irene + I had taken two state teaching exams that day + were exhausted, along with the rest of our party. When I walked in the door once we got home, Erich had surprised me with birthday flowers.

The next evening, we headed over to my Aunt Debbie's house to celebrate not only my birthday, but my Aunt Kathi's birthday, as hers is two days before mine. This is the first time since I was a small child that I got to spend my birthday with [most of] my mom's side of the family + it was awesome. It was honestly the best present I received. Spending time with loved ones I don't often see, eating delicious food, + getting cake in my face [courtesy of my cousin Marie, who I attacked with icing as soon as I could see] was a blast. On the ride home, I kept telling Erich that this was one of the best birthdays I could remember. 

I couldn't wait to say goodbye to twenty-nine. It was a really rough time for me. I lost my job, my cousin, my aunt + pieces of my home in the storm. I welcomed thirty with open arms. I closed the chapter that was my twenties + turned the page to begin writing my thirties. An old friend texted me, with something that made me smile - "Welcome to the best decade of your life."

I'm just beginning to get my feet wet with thirty, but I'm ready to start splashing around.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Three is a Magic Number.

Today marks three years that Erich + I have [officially] been together. After meeting him + blowing him off a handful of times a month earlier, I finally hung out with him - to have a homework date + watch LOST. The rest is history. We've had our ups + downs, like all couples do, but we always come out on top, stronger than ever. From living together, finding three bebe kittens + taking them in [without having a clue what to do], losing one of those kittens, losing my job, + most recently, the storm that flooded our home - we have been through a lot. This year has been particularly rough, but I wouldn't want to weather it with anyone else. He constantly makes me laugh, cheers me up when I am sad, + is the voice of reason when I am being irrational [which happens more often than not]. To say I am lucky is an understatement. I look forward to the future + making memories with this handsome dude!

The song below is one that we would listen to on the overhead music on an iPod when we worked at Starbucks together. Whenever I hear it, it reminds me of the beginning of us.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

After The Storm.

The other night, when we got our cable + internet back, I wrote up a post about how the hurricane affected us, but didn't finish it. Today, I had time to sit back down to it, but decided to delete it + start fresh. Our home was compromised by Sandy. There was a mandatory evacuation + our apartment flooded with over a foot of water. All of our furniture + appliances are damaged, along with many personal possessions. Hours have been spent cleaning, driving to pick up hand-me-down furniture from family [we can't afford to buy anything at the moment] + washing bags upon bags of clothes that were drenched by the Great South Bay. Last night was the first night I slept through the night. I have been stressed about completing my school work, making up a week of student teaching that I missed + finding normalcy.

Some of the damage on our end - it could have been far worse, though.

At the same time, I feel like the biggest asshole in the world for feeling like this. While I have been stressed, I am also beyond grateful. Yes, we had thousands of dollars worth of damage + Erich's dad lost his car in an attempt to save mine [I am so grateful for this, he has no idea], but some people lost everything. We have power in our home, gas in our cars + food on our plates. We are so very lucky + I cannot stress that enough. In fact, I even feel guilty for recovering as quickly as we did.

October was a rough month for me. I was student teaching, my aunt passed away + we celebrated Dominic's 15 birthday - the first one since he passed away in May. I kept telling Erich that I couldn't wait for October to be over, because it was eating me up inside. It got so bad that I even went to the doctor, because I was having daily anxiety attacks + felt like I was losing grip on everything [don't worry, no suicidal thoughts, just severe anxiety + mild depression]. Then the storm hit. 

I am glad that November has arrived, because there are many things to be thankful for + look forward to: our three year anniversary, my thirtieth birthday + Thanksgiving, to name a few. I am hoping that once we get caught up on our academic work, that we will be able to help volunteer in areas that were devastated by the storm. If we have to wait until school is over, so be it. They will still need volunteers, so we will make sure to be there.

Clockwise from top left: Penelope scared + hiding under the bed at the hotel the first night; Puar followed me around the hotel most of the time [she's a fraidy cat]; making light of the situation with the light that helped me clean out our flooded apartment in the dark; a treat from Erich's wonderful mother - one of the many things she brought to the hotel for us to make our stay that much easier.

I hope all of you are healthy + well. If any of you were affected by the storm, please email me + let me know what you need. Many of my friends want to help others in need [but don't want to go through agencies where they are unsure of how money is being allocated]. If you are in need of clothes, shoes, food, gas, whatever - please let me know. I will try my hardest to help you. Also, thank you so very much to my friends who have reached, asking how they can help us, or so make sure we were safe. That means the world to me + I hope you all know that.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Sunday Social, Volume Eight.

This week's Sunday Social is all things Halloween. If you want to participate in the weekly link party, head over here + join in on the fun.

1. What was your favorite Halloween costume as a kid? My Rainbow Brite costume! My mom always made us the most amazing costumes.

2. If you could go back and dress up as something what would it be? Ooooh, I don’t know. I can always utilize older ideas for another Halloween down the road.

3. Favorite costume as an adult? My friend Tom + I dressed up as characters from the film, Juno. That was probably the best, only because people who didn’t know me really thought I was pregnant, hah! My mom, of course, made the belly for the costume, which was fantastic [she’s a genius with a sewing machine]. Definitely need to start working with one more.

4. Favorite Halloween Candy? I don’t know if there is anything specific that I crave around Halloween. I will tell you this – I used to have a serious addiction to Nerds Ropes, which I just happened to consume in the fall/winter months.

image via

5. Favorite Halloween Memory? Probably the year my brother + I begged my mom to have store-bought costumes. I know it KILLED her to buy them, but we wanted those craptastic plastic masks like the rest of our friends. When I looked back on the pictures, I laugh at how horrible we looked.

6. What is your favorite scary movie? Scary movies + I don’t mix well – I’m afraid of my own shadow! The only ones I’ve been able to stomach without having nightmares for days on end are those in the Scream series.

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Monday, October 22, 2012


The last few days have been pretty rough for me, which is why I have been missing in action. On Friday, my Aunt Lil, who is also my godmother, passed away. She had been ill for quite some time, but was recently been diagnosed with cancer + no one was quite sure how much time she had left. That time was much shorter than any of us had anticipated.

Beautiful sisters: Debbie, Cindy, Kathi + Lilly.

I have a unique bond with all of my aunts, but the one I saw the most was Lil. When we lived in Florida, she would often visit us, staying for weeks at a time. My friends Sean + Tami saw her so much [either when she came to Florida or when they came to visit me after I moved back to New York] that they too called her Aunt Lil. We bonded over shopping, lounged around the pool + acted like fools. We used to laugh so hard that we would cry. I remember one time Lil was talking about how her ass sagged in her bathing suit. Out of nowhere, I started talking like an old Jewish woman who had smoked far too much + I told her to get some blue painter's tape, to tape up her ass. Lil + my mom were hysterically laughing, as I kept the charade up. This was always something we joked about, even as her health had started to decline. She was the Fuckmeister + I was her little Fuckmeister [or Fuckmeister Jr. - whichever she was in the mood to refer to me as].

She wasn't perfect [none of us are], but she always made sure she told me how much she loved me + how proud she was of me. Always. Even when I had decided to take a break from school, she understood that I needed to experience life, but told me that she knew I would go back when I was ready, which I did. She loved her children dearly + always spoke about their accomplishments. Sometimes she drove them up a wall [like any mother does], but she would have given her life in a split second for them, no questions asked.

Her daughter, Debbie, gave a beautiful speech at the cemetery. She wanted to keep it lighthearted, like her mother would have wanted. She spoke about how since she has grown up, she understands her mother more now + sees more of her mom in her. Deb said how her mother wore her heart on her sleeve, didn't take shit from anyone + loved us all immensely. She also mentioned her mother's love for Diet Pepsi, shopping [especially HSN/QVC], + coffee, which helped lighten the mood. Lil would have been so proud of her, as she always has been. She has become such a wonderful young woman + has accomplished so much. My aunt Kathi + my mother also had a few words to say about their sister, which were heartfelt. My cousin Catherine also read a beautiful poem by Linda Ellis, called "The Dash" + my Uncle Marc concluded the ceremony with a prayer. It was so hard dropping that white rose into the ground + taking that shovel full of earth to sprinkle upon her casket. I know she is no longer suffering, + that is what is important.

Debbie + Lilly, 1985.

Below is a song that I thought was appropriate + has an interesting backstory as well. Back in 1996, Lil had bought The Smashing Pumpkins tickets for my cousins + I. She had misplaced the tickets, but was convinced someone had stolen them [she suspected the housekeeper, if my memory serves me correctly]. Months later, she eventually found the tickets + remembered that she had indeed placed them in that spot, for safe keeping. Oh, Lil. You will be sorely missed. Thank you for the memories, I will treasure them forever.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Sunday Social, Volume Seven.

I'm a little late on the Sunday Social due to something I will explain later in the week, but here are this week's questions. If you'd like to read more Sunday Social posts, head over to the link-up.

1. What do you value most in life? I value the relationships + experiences I have with others. Even if it’s a quick encounter with someone I’ve just met, those experiences are priceless.
2. What do you think is the greatest invention in your lifetime and why? Hmmm, probably portable personal computers – think of how much work you can do from various outlets? Its so convenient.
3. What do you think is the secret to a good life? Taking time to look around + experience things, good or bad. Expressing emotions. Living.
4. What would you most like to be remembered for when you’re gone? I’d like to be remembered for my kind heart, my ability to stand my ground + my generosity towards others.
5. What accomplishment in your life are you most proud of? Becoming a certified Social Studies teacher. Granted, I haven’t landed a job yet, but I have the credentials to do so!
6. If a movie was made about your life, who would you want to play you? Drew Barrymore, Thora Birch, Rachel McAdams or Robin Tunney.